Embracing My Humanness
A few years back I recognised how my spiritual journey had actually become a ‘spiritual by-passing’ of a big part of my human existence…I had spent years cultivating in silence, diving into blissful states, detaching and basically avoiding deep parts of myself that longed for healing and love. The parts of myself that make me very human, my fears, my emotions, my judgement, my deep childhood trauma and inherited pain… My cultivation turned out to be great preparation for the discernment, willingness and Love that is now needed to turn my eye more deeply into myself.
Since then I have taken a deep dive into the darkness of being truly human, I have done my best to allow my gaze to drop deeply below the searching for joy and happiness and allow it to rest more and more on what lies underneath that search. If I’m honest, at the best of times, it still scares the shit out of me. It is literally like searching blindly in the dark, whilst knowing that darkness is deeply haunted. There is nothing linear about this process and the path constantly flips and turns in directions I would never expect…
But for me now there is no turning back, the freedom and healing of my broken bits is revealing such a compassion and humility for this human life that I was too arrogant to see before…
I am aware that this is by no means easy work…
It requires a great deal of patience, willingness and compassion to uncover these hidden places that are so deeply tucked away from the human eye of awareness. The commitment to self-love is ironically harder than I ever expected.
Now, after some years of walking this path (more like sliding down a slippery slope!), the embrace of my darkness is becoming a core part of my life’s work and service – to support and guide others to gently and bravely dive into the places where we truly need to allow presence and healing. One of the big (missing) teachings and understandings of Oneness for me, is that it is not enough to just know we are ‘all connected’, ‘one living breathing organism’. We need to take deep care of this beloved organism, and look at all the places where we still believe we are separate. That is where our work is. The World needs this right now. Our blessed humanness needs this right now. We cannot heal whats happening around us until we are brave enough to face the pain in ourselves that the separateness of the world is mirroring.
I know many of you are embracing your shadow and taking this brave journey into the dark, and it would be my honour to support you along the way.
In love and service